She

She was always doubtful about things that came her way.
She was very ambitious, but afraid.

She knew what she wanted, but it never crossed her path.
She knew it would come, but she didn’t know when.

Her thoughts and beliefs made finding it more difficult.
Her friends had it easy, they never went through the struggle.

She was different, knew herself more than anyone could about themselves.
She wanted to jump ahead and find it. Find what she was looking for.

She knew searching for it wouldn’t make it come faster.
But she was tired of waiting around, she was becoming a disaster.

All she wanted was to find someone.
She wanted to feel the warmth and pain of being in love.

Asking Myself A Few Questions

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something”

1. What are you afraid of?

I’m afraid of being a disappointment to my parents, but most importantly, myself. I’m afraid of being a failure, someone who never followed their dreams and didn’t work hard enough. I see so many people my age who are already successful and have so much going for them, and I just wish I could be as dedicated as them and accomplish my goals at this age.

2. What/ who do you love?

I definitely do not love myself which makes it harder to love other people. Not being able to accept myself makes it impossible to accept the flaws in others. I love my family, of course. Besides them, I love music more than anything. Music is my passion I love it so much, that is why if I won’t be doing that as my career, I will feel like a failure, going back to my fears.

3. What have you lost?

I lost many things and pushed away people in my life. I pushed away those who did not make me a better person, those who have not helped me, who have not kept a smile on my face. Letting those people go made me a better person just by making the decision of shutting them out.

Different People, Different Situations

I think it is crazy how every person who walks by, every day, all have different stories, different goals, different situations. Each person has been through some type of heartbreak, hit rock bottom, or even had a period in their life when something or someone important kept them happy. Their views on others change as they go through the days and become different people because of good or bad decisions and outside forces. I wish I had the time to listen to all they had to say about themselves. I wish I could guide them and help them with anything, to understand their lives. I wish I could learn from their situations and have them teach me the good in some things, and the bad in others. There’s so much to learn, but the knowledge is spread throughout the population, one couldn’t possibly obtain it all.