A Very Much Real (Yet Simple) Poem About My Very Real Life 

im jealous of the girl
who gets to kiss your lips

oh I wish it was me

it’s all I’ve been dreamin
she’s so lucky

doesn’t even know

she better hold on

if it were me i would never let go
she gets to hold you tight

sunny days, rainy nights

she can keep your shirts

you even let her sleep over
why can’t that be me

I’m not hiding, so why can’t I be seen

my timing is always off

I’m not that lucky
she’s not selfish

doesn’t have to be

because she has everything already

it all happened to come her way, so easily
my everything could be different

to her it might be just a little something

you’re the everything I talk about

she might not see it all in front of her
November 2, 2015 12:44 AM

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Response to “Out of Your Reach”

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Out of Your Reach.”

When I was younger, all of the kids always had the coolest, most fun snacks at lunchtime. I’m not complaining for being raised on a healthy, mostly-homemade diet, but I definitely missed out on a lot. During lunchtime, all my friends always had fruit roll ups, pop tarts, gushers, cheez-itz, those rainbow brownie things, etc. I never had that kind of stuff in my house, so when I would go to my friends’ houses, I would actually steal snacks and bring them home since my friends wouldn’t give me more than one bag. It was crazy, and I feel like that part of my childhood could’ve been a little bit better.

Elements of The Best Days

These few things are what I look for in a really good day. One that I can look back on and think “that day was one of the best days of my life.”

1. Laughter. No day is complete without good, genuine laughs with friends, or anyone really. It instantly puts anyone in a good mood. The more you laugh, the happier and more positive you will feel. It brings out the good in everyone. It’s nice to see that.

2. Adventure. Any day that involves a change in a daily routine. If it’s just going to a big city (Manhattan for me), or to a new cafe, meeting new people. I consider those adventures. It could even be something big like hop on a plane to go somewhere far away. Anything besides your usual routine makes any day a lot better.

3. Socializing. Who doesn’t love those days when you meet new people who expose you to new ideas? I usually meet these people in new environments of course, like a cafe (as said in #2), different town, maybe through a different group of friends than the usual. The best conversations are the ones with people you have just met and will rarely speak to again after that. When someone doesn’t know your background, it’s easier to have an honest conversation about anything. It’s refreshing from being with the same people all the time and listening to the same stories involving the same people.

4. Music. Discovering a new band with a friend and jamming to their music all day and night. Going to a concert you’ve been impatient to go to for months. Gathering people to make your own band. Writing a song. Learning a new instrument. These are usually included in the days I consider the best ones of my life, personally.

If anyone agrees, like this or comment below if you want to add anything. Everyone is different and enjoys different things. I would like to hear some other ideas!

Oh Shit, I’m Graduating Already?

It’s almost two o’clock in the morning after watching The Spectacular Now on a random night in March and it just hit me. I’m graduating this year. I’m going to be an adult. I’m going to have to get a job and stick with it. No more games and procrastinating and bullshitting my way through tasks.

 I always thought I would be excited to graduate, I mean I still am. But I’ve been around the same people and environment all my life, so what the hell am I supposed to expect? These are the last few months with my high school friends, enemies. Even though I never really got along with many people, they’re still people who were part of my life and put me in situations that made me who I am. It scares me not knowing who I’ll be with after this. Where am I going to end up? What type of people will I surround myself with? Where will I live? Will I even have money?

I wasted so much time not fulfilling my goals and dreams. When you have time, you spend too much of it waiting to take action, but never do. Wow? high school really does end. I didn’t have the best time of my life but it felt like this was my only life for a while. I wish I could easily adapt to change, but I’m the opposite. I don’t mind change, but it’s hard for me to accept and get used to. I hope I’ll go for my dreams and I’ll be where I have always seen myself. I need it. I need to prove that there will still be life filled with youthful happiness after high school. 

School Flaws and Teacher Claws

School starts tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I’m upset that school is something teens despise and do not enjoy. School should promote education by caring about us students more instead of watching us fall behind and put pressure on us. They should celebrate a student’s improvement even if they’re still below average. I feel like teachers do not try to help students reach their full potential. Everybody learns better in different environments and with different tactics. For example, I learn best when there are hands on activities or conversations/ debates involving the whole class. All we do is read textbooks and take notes from a PowerPoint. Yes, some students do fine with just that, but the majority of students bullshit their way through high school because they can’t learn from just reading and memorizing old information from a fat book. Us students only remember the information just enough to pass the tests, but forget it shortly after. Schools/ Teachers should use different ways of teaching for example connect the information to modern day situations and events, class deliberations, and hands on activities with visuals that could only expand a students knowledge. (We don’t even learn basic life skills, proper grammar, or appropriate vocabulary as we get older.)

Keeping students more involved by giving them endless opportunities to participate and feel safe speaking their minds will keep them engaged in class and therefore increase interest in education and school. We want students to look forward to a class because there’s a debate that day, or because they’re working in groups to voice their ideas and listen to and respect that of others. Also, by hearing other students ideas could also expand knowledge because nobody thinks the same, so it makes students think outside the box. I wish teachers were able to care enough for their students and realize textbook work isn’t doing much for anyone. I’m thankful that I’m graduating this year. Who knows what I’ll be doing from then on, but it’ll be better than high school.

Side Note: With all the changes in society with constant changing technology and current issues globally and locally, we’re not being taught corresponding to what’s going on in the real world. There’s no connection between the information we are taught in school and what would be useful in today’s world. Every generation in different, so how are they teaching the same things, the same ways every year for decades?

American Horror Story: New Year’s Eve (True Story)

emilie's mind.

It was the night of New Year’s Eve, filled with drinks and laughter, but outside was a cold, sketchy night on a dead-end. We got kicked out earlier than planned, so I got a ride home from a friend. I thought my parents were home from their party because both cars were in the driveway of our house, so my friends left before I got into my house thinking I would be fine.

I knocked on the front door and nobody answered. I ran to the side door, no answer. I took my bag an emptied it on the front deck multiple times to get my key, but I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t call my parents to let them know I was home early and locked out because my phone died, of course. The longer I was outside the more numb my body was getting. All I wore was a…

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American Horror Story: New Year’s Eve (True Story)

It was the night of New Year’s Eve, filled with drinks and laughter, but outside was a cold, sketchy night on a dead-end. We got kicked out earlier than planned, so I got a ride home from a friend. I thought my parents were home from their party because both cars were in the driveway of our house, so my friends left before I got into my house thinking I would be fine.

I knocked on the front door and nobody answered. I ran to the side door, no answer. I took my bag an emptied it on the front deck multiple times to get my key, but I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t call my parents to let them know I was home early and locked out because my phone died, of course. The longer I was outside the more numb my body was getting. All I wore was a small dress, a sweater, and boots. Although I was numb, the cold was stinging my body. I tried the garage to get the emergency key, but couldn’t remember the code because I hardly ever use it.

It was one o’clock in the morning, below freezing, I was drunk, the neighbors were sleeping, I had no way of contacting anyone, I was too numb to walk to a friend’s house, so I did what I thought was my only option. I had to break into my own house. I went to my basement window, the smallest, but easiest window to access, and I tried to open it, but it was locked for once, the night I needed it most. I still tried to open it and unlock it from outside, but I knew it wasn’t going to work. I started punching the window, underestimating it’s strength, and it wouldn’t open or break. I stood up, took a breath, and kicked the window with all the energy I had left. Glass shattered everywhere. With my hand, I started to hit the leftover broken glass that was around the edges so I could fit through, then I took my bag and dove into the window and onto my couch right below it.

It was pitch black. I knew I landed on a pile of broken glass, but I didn’t acknowledge what I had just done because my goal was to go upstairs and call my parents to tell them I got home safely, so I thought. I was trying to find the light switches as I was stumbling through my house. I finally got the house phone and called my parents so they knew they weren’t picking me up from the party anymore. After, I sat down on the couch to finally relax after the long night I had. About ten minutes later, still numb from the cold, I felt a weird, sticky substance on my hands. I looked down and started crying hysterically.My hands were covered in my own blood. As I looked around I realized there was blood on my stockings, dress, the phone, the walls and light switches, and big drops on the floor all throughout the house.Why did I think I would be okay? I had just dove into a narrow window surrounded with broken pieces of thick, sharp glass. I called my parents right away and luckily they had just pulled up into the driveway.

When my parents opened the door, I was standing there covered in blood, make-up running down my face. They helped me right away by wrapping layers of bandages and medical tape all over my bloody hands as I cried and explained to them everything that happened. The pain hit me slowly as my body defrosted and got out of the shock I put it in. I was exhausted from the stress and fear I had to go through. I was just relieved and finally felt safe for the first time that night.

Bad choices make good stories.