this train

as this train slows down
my heart speeds up
spent hours in this seat
it’s time to get up

time to move forward
just like the train
get ready for the next few months
in this new city

I have nothing
I have nobody
all I have are these heavy bags
too big for me

took myself out of a familiar place
now in this city
not one recognizable face

(October 23, 2015 12:14 AM [London])

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a lighthouse down this block

there’s a lighthouse down this block
where I used to ride my bike
babe it’s been too long
since I’ve seen that light shine

I used to grab my things
a coat, a book, a pen
that’s all I learned to need
with simply that I was content

I spent hours of my days here
too many, or not enough
the memories are saved here
from myself and all my thoughts

one day I stopped going alone
that was when I met you
I’ve never seen the light so bright
until you first stepped in the room

I brought you to my favorite place
I trusted you with my heart
the only person who meant enough
even now that we’re apart

the days passed by, the breeze got cold
I never returned
I still pass by it once in a while
to make sure the light still burns

since you stopped showing up
I noticed some changes
the lights in the lighthouse used to be so bright
suddenly faded

(from August 29, 2015 3:54 AM)

guide me there

brain dead
body numb
sleep on sleep
no work done

morning comes
wake up wake up
Truman show
home, but lost

less sleep
more time
brain works
I’m fine

lead the way
out of here
creative mind
guide me there

sleepless again

I try to keep myself busy
so I won’t overthink
but once I lay down at midnight to sleep
the thoughts suffocate my mind

I am always tired
I wish there was a way to keep my thoughts calm
I push through the sleepy feeling
and force my body to work
but once again
when I lay down the next night
my mind is the one that works

day and dream

during the day i avoid
i avoid things i know will intrude on my peace
i filter bad words
bad sentences
bad stories
bad things
so my mind is at peace

but at night
everything comes back in my dreams
i wake up scared and distressed
i create bad things
since i don’t confront them awake
i confront them in my sleep

American Dream Evolved

American Dream Evolved

Today in English class we read and analyzed this article to connect it to the play we are reading, Death of a Salesman. We had to write a paragraph explaining if Dan Kadlec looks at my generation’s “American Dream” negatively or if it’s adjusting to today’s society and it’s not such a bad thing. The statistics used in his article contrast each other, so the reader sees both points of view.

The American Dream of today is different than what it was in the 30s. Back then it was about owning a house with a porch and raising a family with enough money to support everyone. Discussing it in class, there is no set american dream for my generation. Everybody has a different goal to reach in life, for example my dream is to be successful and live in Manhattan, but for one of my peers it could be to live in a mansion upstate New York and raise a large family.

My generation has hope and motivation for our future to succeed the American Dream. We all saw our parents, grandparents, and all the adults of their generations suffer from making wrong decisions unknowingly and barely making it during the market fall. Seeing them suffer motivates us to work hard and put ourselves in a position where we don’t have to worry about losing our job or owning a house only for it to be worth half the price it was when it was originally bought. Also, we have the advantage of having advanced technology, so we have access to any information we want 24/7. Yes, this makes everything much more competitive, but if we work hard, we can make it and become successful in whatever we want to do.