no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no tomorrow’s
only now’s
and maybe some
“in 5 minutes”
but no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no more tomorrow’s
i tell myself
goodbye to procrastination
you’ve hurt me enough
maybe some
“i need a break, I’ll continue in a few hours,”
but no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no tomorrow’s
work your ass off
there’s no time to say tomorrow
when you’re doing nothing right now
silly girl
you’ll learn
before you fall even deeper
in this world

no tomorrow’s

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“new year, new me” …

new year, new me
same shit, don’t you see
just be, just be
every day

new year, new me
don’t wait, don’t sleep
start now, start now
just be

new year, new me
same brain, same feet
set goals, set goals
achieve

new year, new me
every day, every week
haven’t changed one bit
new year, same shit

always persistent
insisting
always working
striving
ambition flooding
no relaxing

I don’t need a new year to be me.
I don’t need a new year to work for who I want to be.
I don’t need a new year to start again.
I’ve been me, I love me, every year is for me.

every week
every day
every hour
every second
for me

no new year, new me

xx

where are you

Emotions drown my eyes
Music defines time
Drinks erase my mind
Heart beats out of line

Can’t see anymore
Can’t think anymore
Can’t breathe anymore
Where are you, when I’m here

Hot water dripping down
Wipe the steam from the window
Cold air and the snow
I’m cold I’m alone
Hungover I’m alone
Addicted to you, I suppose
Going through withdrawals, don’t you know
I’m stripped down, emotionally exposed
I’m like an open wound, can’t do this alone

Do you see me
Do you miss me
Do you want me
Don’t leave me
Where are you, when I’m here

Skinny Love Explicit

i cannot open up to others
when you’re still all i think about
i don’t cross your mind
as much as i want

how can i be sure
that you don’t think of me too
when i look back on our time
i see the love you kept inside

you came to me
couldn’t let me go in the mornings
i never told you how i felt
maybe you thought i didn’t feel anything

for a short time, i was around
i didn’t want to plant something in your mind
it would only hurt, i only wanted good
i wonder if it’s too late to tell you

across the blue you are
living your life as before
but from the start you meant so much to me
i hope this can continue somehow

this is so fucking hard
you’re the only one who ever made me feel this way
eighteen years without it
but you showed me it does exist

i do hope you’re happy
however our lives end up
but for now i refuse to sit back
and not fight for my first love

i hate using that word
“love”
it’s all people talk about
but now i understand them for once

i could write about you for days
for years, pages and pages
i could never get sick of you
right now i’m missing you like crazy

i don’t want to go crazy
that’s the thing
i want to open my heart
to others around me
but if i do
i would let go of you
and that’s the last thing
i would ever want to do

whether or not you feel the same way
just to be in your life
i would feel okay

though it makes it easier on me
being so far away
but if you took a plane over the ocean
in a second i would fall hard again

i never lost feelings
they’re just easy to ignore
cause i haven’t seen you in months
i can’t do this anymore

that first day
the first day i saw you
i wrote about you
how much i already appreciated you

i guess it was love at first sight
for me, at least, from my side
even though to this day i still barely know you
i know enough to be in love with you

Old Friend…

The best feeling is when someone you haven’t talked to in a while contacts you out of the blue

You know you’ve been on their mind

Which makes you feel wanted in a different way than usual

That you had an impact on someone’s life

It makes you forget about the people and friends you see every day

It makes you think back to the old times you had with that person

Nothing drastic caused the pause in the friendship,

Just distance, new experience, a busy personal life, getting caught up in other things

There’s so much to talk about because it’s been so long

Each other’s presence makes the both of you happy

I just think it’s the best surprise and feeling a person could have from a relationship

Day Dreaming

Getting lost in my mind

Detaches me from what I see with my eyes.

The separation of reality and dreams

Isn’t always a bad thing, sometimes relieving.

I love losing touch with whats in front of me

And explore what’s going on in my mind.

Getting attached to my thoughts

Can actually help me.

My own personal free-for-all

Nobody needs to know about.

Letting go of the “now” to dream and use my crazy, messed up mind, 

It’s something I look forward to, it helps me sleep at night