sleepless again

I try to keep myself busy
so I won’t overthink
but once I lay down at midnight to sleep
the thoughts suffocate my mind

I am always tired
I wish there was a way to keep my thoughts calm
I push through the sleepy feeling
and force my body to work
but once again
when I lay down the next night
my mind is the one that works

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Numb vs Pain

It’s so easy to not feel anything,

the more pain I should feel, the more I hold back.

Then there are those days when I break down.

It all builds up, then that’s when it’s painful

I wish I could be normal and let it out on time

but I’m different, and so is my mind.

I feel numb most of my days

until something hits me and breaks through the numbed space