this train

as this train slows down
my heart speeds up
spent hours in this seat
it’s time to get up

time to move forward
just like the train
get ready for the next few months
in this new city

I have nothing
I have nobody
all I have are these heavy bags
too big for me

took myself out of a familiar place
now in this city
not one recognizable face

(October 23, 2015 12:14 AM [London])

Advertisements

guide me there

brain dead
body numb
sleep on sleep
no work done

morning comes
wake up wake up
Truman show
home, but lost

less sleep
more time
brain works
I’m fine

lead the way
out of here
creative mind
guide me there

another poem about sleep

sleep is strange
it’s bitter sweet
time feels like it stops
while under the sheets
so much time passes
with eyelids closed
I wonder where I would be
if I wasn’t out cold

if I didn’t need sleep

(from 3/3/15 12:00 am)

day and dream

during the day i avoid
i avoid things i know will intrude on my peace
i filter bad words
bad sentences
bad stories
bad things
so my mind is at peace

but at night
everything comes back in my dreams
i wake up scared and distressed
i create bad things
since i don’t confront them awake
i confront them in my sleep

I Just Don’t Understand

I don’t understand why we all have to choose one career for the rest of our lives. We constantly grow and change into different people, pick up different interests, especially when we’re young (which is the time we have to decide our future). I don’t understand it. It would be less stressful knowing I could change what I want to do after making mistakes within the wrong path. Unfortunately, nobody has that option to just wake up and start something new.

How is anyone supposed to know what they want to do? There’s not enough time to try everything we would like to. Even if we’re passionate about something, making it into a career makes it more of a chore and ruins the whole love for that thing. Also, doing what you love for a living doesn’t necessarily mean you will be successful, some can’t be made into a living, just a passion for a hobby or talent.

Life is just so unfair. We’re put on this earth by God to work for our whole lives and make decisions when most of us haven’t even figured ourselves out yet? There are so many things I wish were different in this crazy, disgusting world. Nobody does anything from the goodness of their heart, or to benefit each other, it’s all business, and in business nobody’s happy. I wish jobs didn’t exist. I wish we were all here to do what we love and make mistakes without consequences and had easy access to resources. I know I went a little off topic, but I just wish times were different.

I don’t think anyone is ever ready to make that (career) decision and be certain that they can deal with doing the same thing for the rest of their lives. I will never understand how someone could think this would work.

We should all have the option to try everything we want to before making final decisions. We cannot be expected to just decide as a teenager, we barely have any experience in anything how am I supposed to know what I want to do?