Dreams or Goals

I’m always mad, mostly at myself, because I give up too easily especially when something gets hard. I have talents that I want to share with the world and be known by them, but I’m not motivated enough to go through with them. It’s hard when I’m more lazy than ambitious.

I always make up scenarios in my mind about what could happen if I decide to do certain things, but then I snap back to reality and realize that none of it will happen. I get caught up in my unrealistic fantasies, so I don’t have the mindset to work on reality and my future. I want to do music and/ or songwriting because it’s what I enjoy most and always makes me feel accomplished and satisfied with myself. I just need to get out of my head, do something real and just keep trying. The hardest part of taking action is knowing where to start.

It’s difficult to put yourself out there when there are hundreds of thousands of people doing the same thing, so it just comes down to luck. This is why I get so attached to my dreams because the chances of them coming true are so slim, it’s not motivating enough to become a goal, a priority. Even though I do take music and writing seriously, what are the chances of becoming successful in those areas? Maybe I just need some luck and I’ll make it.

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I Don’t Know What To Do With Myself Anymore

It’s hard to have motivation to do something when you don’t have anyone supporting you. Ever since I was younger, I have always wanted to try new things, like ice skating, dance, singing lessons, a youtube channel, or participate in a talent show. People look at me like I’m crazy when I say, “I want to try this,” and “I want to sign up for that.” It’s hard to go through with something, especially when you don’t have anyone to share it with who will actually appreciate what you’re doing (even your parents).

I really should motivate myself and get inspired on my own, but being a teenager with not one “friend” who supports me or cares about anything I accomplish and want to attempt is frustrating. I have nobody to talk to or share things with, so I keep everything inside. I can’t even be happy around anyone because they will ruin it by making it seem insignificant. What am I allowed to be happy about? How am I even supposed to be happy if there is no communication between people and appreciation for anything? I have so many dreams that I could’ve achieved, but people would stop me on the way. I shouldn’t let people stop me, but I’m still growing mentally, physically, and socially, so I do need guidance of some sort. 

I hate myself for living 16 years of my life and feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything at all. I feel like such a waste. I should be on stage and performing or expressing my talent and putting myself out there, but I need someone who will be there to support me when I feel as if I wouldn’t want to continue or thinking I wouldn’t be successful. Life’s just not fair, I have so much potential to be successful, but I don’t know what to do with my talents and hobbies. In order to be successful, you need to know people. I don’t know anybody, and my parents don’t know anybody either because they’re loners like me. This family sucks.

I feel isolated from the rest of the world, I feel inferior to everybody. I feel as if I won’t be successful or happy because I see things differently and have different dreams and beliefs. I feel as if people accomplished more in one month than I ever will in my whole life. All I need is some consistent support and help.