guide me there

brain dead
body numb
sleep on sleep
no work done

morning comes
wake up wake up
Truman show
home, but lost

less sleep
more time
brain works
I’m fine

lead the way
out of here
creative mind
guide me there

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sleepless again

I try to keep myself busy
so I won’t overthink
but once I lay down at midnight to sleep
the thoughts suffocate my mind

I am always tired
I wish there was a way to keep my thoughts calm
I push through the sleepy feeling
and force my body to work
but once again
when I lay down the next night
my mind is the one that works

day and dream

during the day i avoid
i avoid things i know will intrude on my peace
i filter bad words
bad sentences
bad stories
bad things
so my mind is at peace

but at night
everything comes back in my dreams
i wake up scared and distressed
i create bad things
since i don’t confront them awake
i confront them in my sleep

why do i

why do i listen to people
when only i know who i am and what’s best for me

why do i trust people
when i don’t know them, and they don’t know me

why do i hurt people
when all i want is to communicate

why do i not care
when certain people care about me

why do i judge
when i don’t like when people judge me

why do i accept people
when i know they are detrimental to me

why do i hurt myself
when i can avoid the people who cause the hurt in me

booty calls

i love when you text me
late at night
cause i know what i’ll be

i love that there’s no connection
between you and me

we both know what this is
i feel like a rebel
in the midst of obedient earth angels

an anarchist
in a society chained to the rules
attached to what they’re told

like a newborn and it’s first bottle

inability to deviate
inability to question

so call me at 3 in the morning
when I’m in bed mourning
over the lost soul of mine
through the physical numbness I’m used for
with you in between or sheets
or above
either way

call me at 4 in the morning
after the girl you truly want
refuses to be with you
she walked away from you
at the bar, when you both drank too much

so you call me
to slightly fulfill that part of you
knowing
we both wake up the next day
feeling the same way
we did before
nothing
neither moving forward nor backward
neither helping, nor damaging

call me at 5 in the morning

i’m here.

no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no tomorrow’s
only now’s
and maybe some
“in 5 minutes”
but no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no more tomorrow’s
i tell myself
goodbye to procrastination
you’ve hurt me enough
maybe some
“i need a break, I’ll continue in a few hours,”
but no tomorrow’s

i tell myself
no tomorrow’s
work your ass off
there’s no time to say tomorrow
when you’re doing nothing right now
silly girl
you’ll learn
before you fall even deeper
in this world

no tomorrow’s

writing prompt: reserve

when I wake up
after a night
of being a vulnerable creature
two people
one always gives more
the other holds back
just a little bit
unbalanced
one leaves hurt
the other leaves untouched
I give more
so
take what I give you
reserve the energy I give you
the love I give you
don’t throw it away
I don’t want to see
a part of me
on the street
in the gutters
being used by someone
by something
who hasn’t seen me
hasn’t earned me
who doesn’t deserve me
someone who doesn’t understand
what it means to respect me
what it means when I give a piece of me
just hold onto it
please
and i hope to wake up to you again
and you will give me more of yourself

Let me know