Maybe you would understand if you were willing to take my hand
and take a step into my world, so many stories I kept to myself, for so long they were untold
I hope you’re worth trusting because I know I’m not perfect, so don’t run away
they say I’m just another brick in the wall, but without me the walls would fall down
my mind is a different place than any other, so it will take some getting used to
i don’t think anybody has understood me the way I think you do
I’m afraid my differences will be too overwhelming, so you’ll leave me, but it’s worth the heartache
If there’s anything I learned in high school, it’s never trust anybody, even ones who seem closest to you. People will betray you because they will act without thinking twice about their relationship with you. If you learn to not get attached, you won’t get hurt. I learned that I should keep my distance with people, especially when I feel that I’m getting too close with someone. Getting too close and personal can lead to bad situations, it always happens to me, at least.
I haven’t experienced betrayal as much as I’ve witnessed it, maybe because I see everything from the outside of situations since I’m not caught up in drama or the people really involved in it. In some ways I like being different than others, but sometimes I wish I was going through the same emotions and problems as others instead of knowing right from wrong. I want to experience heartbreak and excitement. Recently, I took a step back and really thought about my relationship with my “friends,” and honestly I don’t even consider anybody a friend anymore. Everybody is a lying, two-faced, selfish alien.
Even though I can’t consider anyone a friend and I can’t even trust the people I thought were my close friends, I’m happy I’m not attached to a group or a clique because being independent will be better for me in the long run. It will be easy to leave and move on from high school. I don’t listen to anybody’s opinion about who I am because I know myself better than anybody ever will and I only trust myself.
PLUS: All the kids at my school want to do is get drunk and high, and if they can’t, they won’t even go out at all. We live right in the suburbs of New York Freaking City, what is so difficult about hopping on the train and having fun and exploring life without alcohol or drugs?